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By Repair Man Jack Posted in Endorsements — Comments (6) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »

Let me be the first to defend the good name and honor of one Winnie the Pooh. He is indeed smarter than the average bear. According to my two-year old son, this is no empty slogan. So mighty is the wisdom of Pooh, it now even informs the philosophy of Barak Obama military advisor and former Navy Secretary Richard Danzig.

The Honorable Mr. Danzig offered us the following observations about my little boy’s favorite story book character and stuffed animal model.

Mr Danzig told the Centre for New American Security: “Winnie the Pooh seems to me to be a fundamental text on national security.”

Apparently, this sagacity imparted upon the loveable bear by his creator A. A. Milne, will give him a leg up on all of those big, bad terrorists who emulate the worst in American popular culture. Danzig describes these little piglets below.

He spelt out how American troops, spies and anti-terrorist officials could learn key lessons by understanding the desire of terrorists to emulate superheroes like Luke Skywalker, and the lust for violence of violent football fans.

Well, Winnie is certainly a nicer fellow than that nasty Killer Rabbit that bedeviled President Jimmy Carter. He has a much stronger media presence than Congressman Kucinich’s favored imaginary advisor; Grandfather Twilight. Given these great strengths of mind and character, and given that Barak Obama’s chief VP headhunter has certain fiduciary issues that are damaging Senator Obama’s reputation countrywide, the Democratic Party could do far worse than nominating Winnie the Pooh as their Vice-Presidential candidate.

Having written a fundamental text on national security makes Winnie the Pooh more of an authority on the subject than the current Democratic Presidential Nominee happens to be at present. Winnie would add depth perception to a ticket that seems to not quite see past the next morning’s headlines. He has spent his formative years talking, cajoling and judiciously applying brute force when necessary in order to talk hives of angry bees out of their honey.

With Winnie as Vice President, no one in small town America could possible stay bitter. He, Eyeore and Tigger could explain to Iranian President, Ahmadinejad that you win friends with honey; not vinegar. Winnie’s solution to high gas prices would certainly involve a much-needed influx of light, sweet crude. Maybe Owl or Rabbit could take care of the refinement; that not being Pooh’s strength.

So with no further ado, myself and my two-year old son, heartily commend Winnie the Pooh to the number two spot on The Democratic Party’s Presidential ticket. As all the beautifully illustrated children’s books prove, Winnie is truly a bear for all seasons. With Winnie the Pooh on the ticket, pundits would only mean it in the kindest way possible when they referred to Senator Obama as Barak O-Bambi.

Cross=Posted At: THE MINORITY REPORT