THE 4TH OF JULY IN SAMARRA, IRAQ


Just a Company of American paratroopers, a guitar plugged
into the outpost's PA system, and a whole lot of demolitions.

Humor

Posted at 4:19pm on May 16, 2008 Friday Open Thread: Top Ten List

Top Ten Reasons for Voting for Obama

By absentee

I wrote earlier this week about the new Obamacan ad being run by MoveOn.org. Today TMRB.tv has a new vid mocking the ad (click here to reveal it below:)

Words words words. We have them in abundance. But what of reasons?

So here is today's top ten list.


Hint: click on the linked text to reveal even more sound reasoning!!!

Number 10: HOPE!!11!!1!!!!

Number 9: CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whew, breath .. short ... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Number 8: Waffles!

Number 7: Bowling!

Number 6: Bowling for Waffles!
Pay attention Fox Network, I smell a celebrity edition featuring John Kerry and Flavor Flav!)





Oh, it only gets "better" ....

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Posted at 1:52am on May 10, 2008 YouTube Ribbing

By Pejman Yousefzadeh

Shall we engage in some gently mockery?

Yes, we shall:


And to paraphrase Vader, my high school civics teacher has failed me for the last time. Fifty states? I scoff! We have far more than fifty:


Of course, if John McCain said this, we would have heard about how old he is he has "lost his bearings."

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Posted at 5:24pm on Apr. 6, 2008 Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear Me Say (Or Sing)

OPEN THREAD

By absentee

Time for another Sunday Afternoon Top Ten List Open Thread. Add your own suggestions for things we'd never hear you say (or sing).



10. Did you watch Olbermann last night?
9. (in aswer to #10) No, but I have it TiVo'd.
8. I'll have a Zima.
7. Could you put something decent on, Jessica?
6. We were at the Dixie Chicks concert and ...


Read on, number 1 even has video! (I'm so 2008)

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Posted at 6:48pm on Mar. 31, 2008 I Want A World That Doesn't Exist

Open Thread

By absentee

This video from Super Deluxe is hilarious. There's a raunchy joke midway, fair warning.

This a Monday Afternoon/Evening Open Thread. Post your favorite Barack Obama jokes if you've got 'em.

Here are two to start it off:

"You see Barack Obama at that rally surrounded by all those Kennedys? Man, I couldn't tell if he was running for president or bartender." --Jay Leno

"If Hillary and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? ... America!" (various)




(H/T Political Machine)

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Posted at 11:18pm on Mar. 23, 2008 Top Ten Awkard Obama-Wright Moments

Open Thread

By absentee

In light of this Top Ten List youtube clip that Pejman sent around (LOVE number five ... wait, SIX .. awkward!), and my own recent Top 5 List Of Dumb Things I've Done, I'd like to start a ...

TOP TEN (OR FIVE) LISTS OPEN THREAD

Number 10: Obama attends Wright's church for twenty years!

Number 9: Wright comes to Hawaii for a visit. Obama's Grandma, upon meeting the Wright Reverend, surrenders her purse.

Number 8: Wright introduces Farrakhan to Obama. That's it. That's the joke.

Number 7: Obama's Grandma comes to Chicago and visits the church to apologize for Pearl Harbor, but Obama doesn't show. He's not there on those days.

Number 6: On Thanksgiving Obama asks the Wright Reverend to pass some turkey. The Reverend inquires white or dark meat? Obama says a little of each.

You can't believe I don't shut up, but there's more ...

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Posted at 5:40pm on Mar. 22, 2008 Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!

By absentee

Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!Well there you have it. Redstate has officially let me in. Like me, you're probably wondering how this could have happened. Has Redstate jumped the shark?

I've been blogging for over 4 years now, I think - it's hard to tell time online. Before that I was a frequent message board pontificator and, before that, I would just harass people at parties with off the cuff essay recitations. You haven't lived until tried to engage someone on Burke's 1777 Address to the British Colonists in North America during a drinking contest at the barracks.

An opportunity such as this involves ego risk. In order to assure you (and my wife) that I don't have a big head, I will be interrupting this blog entry with a Top Five list of the dumbest and most embarrassing things I've ever done. I hope my desperate humiliation can bring some small joy into your life, as it no doubt has to many, many others. (For example, while discussing the top five list with my wife, and trying to decide what should be included, she suggested "You know, maybe you need a top ten list." Yep.)


Introducing The Blogtastic Top Five All Time List Of Absenteupidity

Number Five:
Upon returning to the barracks from my late night second job distributing pizza coupons, I reached into my pocket to search for my keys to unlock the door. My left hand was full with my keys, so I searched the right pocket first. They weren't there, so I took the keys from my left hand and put them into my right hand, that I might search my left pocket. No luck.

Frustrated, I put the keys into my mouth so I could look in both pockets at the same time. I kept patting myself down and getting more frustrated.

But they were in my mouth, you see.

... Good times.

It's been a rocky road for me online. When I started out, I was a wanna-be writer, opining in juvenile discussion forums about the senselessness of human existence and exchanging amateur poetry; experiencing and sharing paeans to artistic genius and analysis such as "I like the way every other line rhymes for the most part."

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Posted at 1:04am on Feb. 11, 2008 All's Fair in Oven War

By absentee

Promoted by Jeff. Seriously, where else can you get this kind of value for your online buck?

So during the President's final State of the Union address, my wife started laughing hysterically. I know what you are thinking; but what she was really laughing at was our Attorney General, Michael Mukasey.

Now, granted, Mukasey isn't who you normally think of when you think of hysterical laughing. I'd venture to say that no attorney is at the forefront of your mind when you're talking about hysterical laughter. Hysteria, maybe, but not in a fun way. (Yes yes, cheap shot at lawyers. Yes, I know, the subpoena is in the mail, Erick.)

Read on.

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Posted at 10:58pm on Feb. 6, 2008 Basic Instructions for conservatives

By Neil Stevens

How to deal with someone who doesn't like you should fit the bill. Particularly that first panel.

Posted at 5:36pm on Jan. 15, 2008 In Which I, At the End of the Day, Discuss Breathlessly

By absentee

Promoted by AE because it's close to the end of a long day and we all need a laugh--not to mention a reminder to blog wisely. And you had me at "literally..."

Ah, blogging. It's so ... bloggy. Snarky. Tasty.

... repetitious.

The time has come to discuss the elephant in the room.
Robot Nixon!Everything is faster these days. The world wide web has made the world a smaller place. In so doing, it has created in us, the bloggers, a new and, in many ways, more powerful force for change than ever has been seen before on the face of God's green earth or in the history of the known universe!!

How is it, then, that change is so laborious, so plodding, so delayed?

"With my mighty robot powers, I can get sick of things much quicker than you humans." Bender - Futurama

Clichés: They surround us, envelope us, suffocate us.

Now, I realize some clichés will never leave us, so I'm not trying to stir up a hornet's nest. I also realize I use clichés in my blogs and comments like anyone else; I won't ignore the beam in my own eye. But like Bender, bloggers can get sick of things quicker than normal offline folks. We can ruin things faster too. The collision of blogs with political and popular culture is the perfect storm of bad writing. The fact of the matter is, it's high time to address some clichés that have become so overdone as to be positively grating. Faint heart never won fair maiden, and so I will shoulder this onerous burden.

But, let us mince words no more. It's time to take this to the next level. I have put together a list which I believe represents the worst of the worst. The absolute, blogtastic and spectacular list of abused words, phrases, idioms, analogies, synonyms, and good old fashioned red-blooded clichés.

I bring to you now, in all its glory ...

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Posted at 6:04pm on Nov. 15, 2007 Ron Paul Atreides for President!

By Neil Stevens

Qualifications:

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